The Joys of Being a Skank
by Supporter of Free Love
Summary: Naruto has finally found a way to fill the empty void left in his heart after Sasuke left for the Sound Village: by hooking up with as many men as possible. With the sudden return of Sasuke, is it too late for Naruto to change his ways?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** _Wow I haven't posted anything in so long! But oh well, at least I did now. Hope you enjoy!!!_

**Warnings:** _This is a Sasunaru, so all opposed to this pairing, either convert or leave. Thank you._

**Disclaimer:**_If I seriously owned all these characters, I think I'd atleast be able to afford my own labtop. For now, it's still a dream._

**The Joys of Being a Skank**

**By: Supporter of Free Love**

I was 13 years old the first time I had sex. Just about a year after Sasuke had left for the Sound Village. Did I enjoy it? Not particularly. Was I ready? Hell no, I was only 13. I hadn't even hit puberty yet. Did I need it?

Yes.

I'd rather not get into the messy and awkward details in which come with describing sex, and it'd probably be even more awkward then necessary since it was with a guy. Yes, Uzumaki Naruto had gay butt-sex. So what of it? Not one of the most glamorous moments of my life, but…

Well, just stating, it's not as if I wish I hadn't done it or anything. Or that's at least what I feel now, looking back at the situation. But back then, it was one of the most shameful secrets I had, next to being the Kyuubi container. Sleeping with a guy like Sai was an ultimate low.

Oops, did I forget to mention that fact as well? Hell, it was degrading enough having to live with myself as it is, can you blame me for not mentioning it? I mean, he's such a phony, smiling that fake-ass smile all the time, his long, freaky black hair the color of a raven's feathers. Eyes as dark as the depths of the ocean. Skin as pale and creamy as the moon itself. Why I ever did it at all with Sai is beyond me…

He just looks so much like Sasuke that it's disgusting! It was just like fucking your best friend! Not that me and Sasuke were best friends. That whole relationship ended the moment he left Konoha. I hate his guts.

Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, the sex. I bet you think it can't get any more worse then that. Let's list off the embarrassing details. First off, gotta recap the fact that I did it with Sai. All I can say is EW, and I obviously had to have been on something. Maybe I was drugged. No idea.

Secondly, we kind of got it on in the middle of the training field…who knew I could be such an exhibitionalist? I sure as hell know now, but I was young and naive then. Besides, it wasn't as if anyone was around.

Saving the worse for last, all I have to say in my defense is that I wasn't myself. Or else there is no way I would've bottomed. Yep, you heard right, I was the catcher in this one-moment relationship. Not that I really understood anything that was happening at the time. Again, too young and naïve to be held responsible for my actions. Now that I'm older, I don't mind being the "uke" of the relationship. I actually prefer it. Although I get the sinking feeling the Sai only knew what he was doing because of all those self-help books he reads.

Now what kind of normal person, or should I say guy, reads a book on gay man sex? Seriously, this guy is messed up in the head. Just like Sasuke. Both of them are crazy, I tell you. If Sasuke was around, I bet they'd be good friends.

It's been two years since Sasuke has left for Orochimaru. I haven't gone after him. Good riddance is what I say. I know I promised Sakura I'd bring him back for her, but…over the years I've changed. No longer do my promises mean anything. Everything I say is just empty. I'm not even part of Team 7 anymore. I quit that after Kakashi got on my case for failing to show up to practice on time (I would arrive even later then Kakashi!) and arriving hung over. Being a ninja was just too much stress, and I prefered partying anyways. Even Sakura, Iruka, and Tsunade couldn't convince me.

From time to time, I still do missions. But not the kind of missions that others find desirable. I do what all the other shinobi call "seduction missions." AKA, I fuck other enemy ninja for information. All in all, I believe everybody wins in this situation. The other Leaf shinobi don't have to worry about losing their innocence, and I get paid to do what I do best.

I guess I'm no longer someone to be respected. Apparently to be respected, you're not supposed to sleep with men twice your age. But I don't give a damn. No one's opinion matters to me anymore. I like having the feeling that if I'm feeling the urge for a warm body, I can snap my fingers and gay (and some strait) men will swarm to me, begging to fuck me. Depression can be easily battled when others desire for your company. It's not as if I'm picky with my men. I'll fuck basically any guy these days.

After Sai, I realized that although sex could be painful at times, it at least made me feel _something_. As if I wasn't meant to be lonely for the rest of my life. When Sasuke left, it felt as if I had no emotions left. Every smile I faked, every laugh I forced, killed me a little more and more inside, until it was too much to take. Sex was a relief. Something I had control of. I could choose when I wanted it, and how I wanted it. Rarely did I want to top though. Strange, huh?

Ha, how far the Great Uzumaki, future Hokage, has fallen. The prankster has now become nothing more then a whore. Only good for a quick fuck. But like I give a shit. I admit, I haven't given a damn ever since Sasuke slipped from my fingers. Ever since I failed to keep one of my precious people safe.

Sitting down at the bar, shot after shot being downed by myself, I wallow in my pathetic life and what could have been. I know I'm not happy. I'm not sure I know how to again. For all I know, I'm dying of AIDs or some other god damn sexually transmitted disease. But at least I can still _feel_.

An hour later finds me in the back room with the ugly ass guy who owns this dump, his hand down my pants as I down another bottle of whiskey and grab for another. Why not let him do what he wants? I'm feeling generous. I might even let him fuck me later if the mood strikes me. I got nothing better to do, and I could use the relief.

Just five minutes later, and my pants are gone. No underwear, but like I wear that kind of clothing anymore anyways. In, out, in, out, and in and out some more. I just watch as he continually thrusts into me, a look of constipation on his face. Yes, I just said constipation. Excuse me for not being romantic. He pants in my ear, gasping for air like an out of shape fat guy who just ran a mile without stopping.

It only took a little bit for him to come. Stupid idiot couldn't even come inside of me, so he got a mess everywhere. Stupid, inexperienced fag with no god damn stamina. He had instantly fallen asleep as well afterwards, with a stupid self-satisfied grin on his face. Which doesn't shock me, since I'm assuming it's been a while since he'd gotten some.

Getting up, I barely even winced, used to having cock up my ass. Walking out of the back room, I stopped at the cash register and picked up a little reward I felt I had earned. And the stupid bar attendant watching the register just smiled all dopey-like at me, obviously stoned. Stupid people in this world.

Walking home, I decided to take a detour and go to my spot where I could just sit and think. No one knew of this spot except for me, obviously, and I didn't really have anyone to tell about it. Deep in the woods, if you kept walking past the little stream, you'd come upon this gorgeous lake. It's truly an unbelievable sight at night.

My favorite spot is under this one willow tree right on the edge of the lake. This is where I'd sit, gazing up at the moon from beneath the protective shelter of the willow. I never do go swimming. Can't really say why, since the clear water looks so very cool and inviting. But I'm always content just watching the moon and thinking calmly for hours.

For some odd reason though, tonight was different. That one ugly guy had left me dissatisfied, and therefore I felt nothing what-so-ever. How ironic, a nobody like me feeling nothing. Ha, I make myself laugh sometimes.

As I usually do when I'm feeling numb and unemotional, I find myself thinking of Sasuke. I don't really question why anymore. It's just the way the world works, I guess. I think about how disgusted he'd be if he ever saw me again. When he found out that instead of training to become stronger, I was too busy whoring myself out for my selfish needs.

I would now never be worthy of being on the same level as Sasuke. Sure, he betrayed Konoha and everyone he knew, but at least he still had his dreams. All that remained of my dream of being the Hokage was the necklace given to me by Tsunade, in which I had broken one night in a drunken stupor. Oh yeah, I'm not even worthy of being mentioned in the same sentence as Sasuke.

For the first time in a while, I let the tears fall. I didn't cry full-out, but I still let the tears fall from my eyes. And they continued to fall until I fell into a light slumber.

Hell, I guess I wasn't too bad off. At least I could still cry.

**A/N:**_ So, any good? Worth continuing? Or a total waste of your fanfiction experience? I'll never know if you don't review, so make sure to do so!!!_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **_Well, here's chapter two. A big hearty thank you for those who reviewed! And for all those who didn't: *glares*. I slaved long and hard over this chapter, so I do hope it's enjoyed! It's not exactly how I planned to have it, but like when I usually write, the story usually developes a mind of its own. Just know this is hard for me since I'm not used to writing such angsty pieces. Comedy and humor just comes more naturally to me._

**Warnings:**_ Future Sasunaru, so I sure hope that my viewers are slash fans! And if not, at least willing to give slash a shot. Also, over-usage of the words "fuck", "damn", and many other swear words are present in my work. I apologize for my crude vocabulary ahead of time._

**Disclaimer:**_ Don't own shit. But I'm pretty sure that if I did own Naruto, only yaoi and slash fans would read/watch it._

Waking up the next day to a face full of fucking cheery sunshine and a goddamn bird chirping in your ear is what makes me hate nature. Especially when you're extremely hung over from a previous night of drinking. I know what you're thinking. That it's not the smartest thing for me to be sleeping defenseless outside when there's people like the Akatsuki after me, or more specifically, the Kyuubi. But that was no longer a problem. The Akatsuki's base had apparently been found and infiltrated, all members left dead, including Itachi Uchiha. It was rumored that Sasuke had done the very deed himself. That was a little over a month ago though, and Sasuke had yet to return. Not that I cared, or anything.

Pushing myself up before going into a full body stretch, I pondered over my day's schedule. But considering that fact that I didn't have a schedule, that pondering didn't last very long. I decided I should probably get back to civilization before I was missed. Yeah, I was kind of being sarcastic there on that last comment. I'm perfectly aware that I have no one in my life but myself.

As I started walking back to Konoha, my grumbling tummy convinced me that I was in need for some ramen sustenance. Wondering if I would have to take a trip back to my apartment to get some money, I suddenly remembered that I still had the money from last night. Pulling the money from my skin tight, black leather pants, I smiled at the fist full of money I had. I would enjoy buying my cheap ramen with a hundred dollar bill.

Entering the village, I entertained myself by sending seductive looks towards all who looked at me in disgust (which was everyone) and shaking my ass for all it was worth. After five minutes of this, with me only half-way to Ichiraku, I decided to stop stalling and get a move on.

I had to take a quick pit stop at this one make up shop though. I was pretty sure I looked like shit, and after finding the huge full length mirror in the store, I couldn't help but whistle at how shitty I did indeed look. Where do I even begin? I had twigs and leaves in my golden locks, my eyes were all red and puffy, my eyeliner had smeared everywhere, my tight white tank top had what appeared to be beer stains all over, and just throwing this out there, but I reeked really badly as well. Really, REALLY badly. As in my stench was lethal.

After picking out all foreign objects in my hair and wiping all foreign substances off my face, I moved away from the mirror and bought myself some eyeliner, orange scented body spray, and some winter fresh gum. Expertly applying the eyeliner without the aid of a mirror, I continued onward towards my destination, not even pausing as I proceeded to replace my awful body odor with the sweet, tangy scent of orange.

I only stopped off at another store before arriving at Ichiraku, because there was no way I was going to walk around in that nasty white tank top all day. I was now sporting a dark blue and white horizontally striped button down shirt, and I was totally looking fine. Unfortunately, not fine enough to get the shirt for free. Goes to show you that even I cannot seduce every man out there, and believe me; I tried.

Anyways, entering the ramen bar, I instantly plopped down at the counter, asking for my usual three bowls of miso ramen. Old man Teuchi is quicker then usual today, plopping the bowls in front of me without a single word of greeting leaving his lips. He used to always have a friendly smile or greeting for me, but not anymore. These days he can't even look me in the eyes, and I admit that it hurts a little bit. But just a little. My lifestyle does have its drawbacks from time to time, but nothing I can't deal with.

Taking my first bite of ramen, I moaned in pleasure from the truly glorious sensation of eating my all-time favorite food. After a few more bites, I became slightly pissed when I sensed the presence of an anbu entering the shop, since I figured my ramen time was about to be interrupted. And of course I was right, for the guy (pretty sure the anbu's a dude…either that or she's really flat-chested) came up right behind me and tapped my shoulder.

Sighing, I drop my chopsticks to turn around and face him. "Hey gorgeous, what's up?" I ask casually. Sending his crotch a lewd look, I continue, "You got a problem that you need me to take care of or what?"

Not showing any outside emotion (although he must have been blushing at least a little), he remains calm and cool. "I need you to come with me. The Hokage…"

"You need me to come with you? How dirty minded of you to say things like that out loud! There are children here!" I exclaimed, taking another satisfactory slurp of my ramen, trying my hardest not to smirk at all the looks I was attracting. "If you need me to come with you so badly, I suggest we continue this conversation somewhere a little more appropriate. Somewhere with a bed." Here I wiggled my eyebrows, sending another one of my famous seductive looks towards him.

"I-I, um, that is, um, I-I don't…" Here he stopped, seemingly regaining his composure. Oh yeah, if he wasn't blushing before, he sure as hell must've been by now. "The Hokage demands that you see her right away, and that I am to come…" Seeing the amused look on my face, he quickly changed his word choice. "…I mean, take you to her."

Gracefully sliding off from my seat, I only send one more longing look at my two and a half remaining bowls of ramen before slapping down some money on the counter and following him to the Hokage's tower. The trip there is uneventful, for I'd already had my fill of flirting for the moment. Also, I found my mind drifting to thoughts of why she would need to talk with me. It had to be important. It just had to be. Why else would she summon me?

I felt myself actually growing nervous, which is ridiculous. I don't get nervous anymore. But all of a sudden, I was. Call it my sixth sense, or whatever the fuck you call it, but I had the strangest feeling as I approached the Hokage's office that something was about to happen. Something life changing.

To get rid of this weird emotion coming over me, I glomped onto the poor, unsuspecting anbu in front of me, which when you think about it is pathetic, since I'm technically still a genin and he's a freaking anbu. You'd have to think that he'd have noticed my sudden advancement or something. So instead of him moving, he now had an overly clingy me on his back, refusing to let go.

"G-get off me!" he grunted, trying to pull me off. I just giggled, suppressing the emptiness I was feeling at the moment, refusing to budge from my position on his back.

"Make me," I taunted, moving so that I could whisper these words into his right ear. All I got was a shiver from him, and then he continued on his way, going all out to ignore the random body attached to his back. Strangely enough, I didn't push it any further; I just let myself be carried through the streets until we got there. He even carried me until I was right in front of the Hokage's office, before he dropped his arms that had been supporting my legs. Until then, I hadn't really realized that he had been piggy-backing me through Konoha.

I was randomly filled with a sense of tenderness towards this man. "What is your name?" I asked, grabbing onto his hand as he was about to walk away. The tenderness was quickly squashed though as he jerked his hand away as if he'd been burned, and hurried off in another direction without a look back. I found myself returning to my old, emotionless self, and forcing a smirk on my face, I opened the office door without knocking and strutted in as if I owned the fucking world.

I got three steps into the room before I came to a chilling stop. Tsunade sat behind her desk, the usual stack of papers there, with an unusually serious expression on her face. Not shocking though, because she now always seemed to be wearing a serious face whenever I was involved in anything. Kakashi, Sakura, and Sai were also there, but that's not what made me freeze.

It was the pair of charcoal black eyes that had my dull blue eyes trapped in their gaze. The eyes which belonged to one back-stabbing, ex-best friend and rival, traitorous Sasuke Uchiha; the one who had been the domino that knocked down all my other dominos, resulting in disaster to the thing I liked to call my life.

In my mind, I imagined that I would remain calm and collected when I saw him. I'd smirk and go "Sasuke," and saunter over to the seat right next to him and slide into it.

In reality, his name came out all choked and airy, as if I were about to cry. Instead of sauntering, I literally stumbled over to the chair next to him, falling into it as I kept his gaze. Oh god, I couldn't breathe. I COULDN'T FUCKING BREATHE. His eyes, his eyes…oh god, it was as if he were ripping me to shreds. Staring straight through my body at my tainted, black, dirty soul, seemingly seeing all of the bad things I had been up to ever since he had been gone. My heart suddenly began to feel again, but not in a good way. It hurt. It hurt so damn much. I felt as if I were suffocating to death. As if I were dying.

I could hear my name being called, but I couldn't reply. I just couldn't. All I could do was stare at the boy…no, the _man _that sat besides me. Was it possible for someone to be so beautiful? He looked like a fucking god sitting there, watching me. Examining me. Judging me. I was paralyzed to my seat. His silky smooth lips parted, and with one word released me from his spell.

"Dobe."

I was out of that room in no time flat. The pain in my heart…it was too much. It was an emotion I had only felt once in my life. An emotion I didn't think I'd ever have to deal with after I had given up on ever bringing Sasuke back. I could sense I was being pursued by Kakashi, but he was no threat. Masking my charka, I slipped back into the familiar red light district, easily blending in with the greasy, lowlife losers that thrived in this environment. Considering the sun's position in the sky, I assumed it was around three in the afternoon. Most people thing that this is too early for a person to become completely and utterly smashed, but fuck that. I was in pain. I was in need of hard liquor.

This is why two hours later I could be found in a really, really raunchy gay bar, dancing on the bar counter top, cat-calls and wolf whistles being sent my way. I had conveniently lost my newly acquired shirt, so all I had left on were my pants. My drink in hand, I shimmied and shook my hips to the cheesy pop song playing in the background, not so successfully blocking the pain I felt from Sasuke's return. Finishing my drink, I threw it to the side, not giving a damn if it hit anyone. Soon another faceless person was handing me another drink, and I was downing that as well, trying to force myself into a painless oblivion.

When I realized that Plan "drink my pain away" was failing miserably, I threw back my head and laughed at my whole desperate situation. Here I was, drunk as all hell, and I still couldn't forget my troubles. Oh well, there's always Plan B. Looking towards my audience, my eyes locked onto a man that was some what in the back of the men crowded around me. He had dark brown eyes and hair, and had this sexy, confident look about him. As if he knew he was going to be getting some soon.

My eyes never leaving his, I slowly got off of the bar countertop, ignoring all of the other guys around me trying to cop a feel in favor of walking over to him, making sure to sway my hips seductively as I moved. When I arrived in front of him, I smiled, turning around and pressing my back to his front, and began to slowly grind against him in beat with the music. He instantly replied to my grinding, wrapping two nicely muscled arms around my waist and rubbing up against my backside.

Soon one of his hands decided it was time to explore my body, his hand moving confidently across my chest and stopping to rub against my right nipple. Loving this, I gave a particularly loud moan, shutting my eyes and tilting my head backwards so that it could rest against his shoulder.

We danced together for a few more songs until I grew tired of his innocent (well, to me they were innocent. In reality they were probably far from it) touches. I wanted, no, _needed_ to be fucked. I knew this guy could help me escape the pain for at least a little bit. Or at least he had better hope he could help me to escape my pain, or he would face the damn consequences. But before I could suggest going to somewhere a little more…private, I heard my named being called out.

I opened my shut eyes only to growl at the sight of Kakashi standing in front of me. How the hell had he found me! I was masking my charka, damn it! He had no item of mine to give to his dogs to track my scent with, so that wasn't a possibility either. How could he have found me?

As if reading my thoughts, he dryly replied, "I've been searching every gay bar in this area for you, Naruto. I do hope you're aware that you're a very…popular guy around here."

I let out a hard laugh, staring at him in what I hope was indifference. "What do you want from me?" I pulled away from the guy I had planned to fuck to take a step towards my ex-sensei. "What can be so important that you are willing to search two hours for me in an area like this?"

"You know why. With the return of Sas-"

"Don't! Do NOT say his name!" I interrupted, pain wracking through my body at even just a part of his name being said out loud. Pain I had been successfully suppressing before he came around. Feeling a hopeless anger welling up inside me, I stepped closer to him still. "Leave me alone! I fucking hate you! I HATE YOU!" I screamed at him, aiming a punch at his expressionless face, only to have it caught. I desperately threw another punch with my only remaining free hand, only to have it blocked as well. Soon, I felt myself being pulled against his chest into a hug. I beat my fist against him, trying to free myself, until finally I gave up resisting and allowed my body to grow lax, accepting the comfort he was offering.

Not noticing the guy I had been with had nervously slunk away during all of this, I found myself crying against my old mentor, clutching myself closer to his body. "Why? Why does it have to be like this, Kakashi-sensei? Why does it have to hurt so much?"

Rubbing my back in soothing circles, he somberly said, "Tsunade still needs to talk with you. And this time, you can't run away."

"…" I didn't reply, my crying starting to die down.

His hand stopped doing those little soothing circles on my back, to my minor disappointment. "You don't understand who're you're hurting through all of this, do you?" He randomly asked. Even with my acute hearing thanks to the Kyuubi, I could still barely hear him over all the noise in the bar.

"Huh?"

"You've hurt Tsunade. Sakura. Iruka. Sai. Mainly all of the original Rookie 9. Me. Do you not think of the consequences of your actions? Did you not think about all the friends you would be hurting?"

I couldn't answer. I just couldn't. Not just because I was shit-faced, but because I knew what he said was true. Every word of it. I hadn't thought about how anybody would feel. I had only been thinking for myself like the self-centered person I was.

Seeming to realize that I wasn't going to talk anytime soon, he decided to add, "You hurt Sasuke too, you know. When you ran away from him like that. You were the first person he had actually said anything to, and the look on his face when you ran away-"

"GOOD! He deserved it! I wish that I hurt him the way he hurt me!" Instantly after saying this, I pulled away, embarrassed at my outburst. God, what the hell was wrong with me? Did I have no control anymore?

Suddenly feeling unbearably tired, I felt all emotion but bad leaving me. "Damn it, Kakashi. Why're you telling me all these things?" I glared pathetically at him. "Trying to make me feel guilty? Trying to make me feel like shit? Well, it worked. Mission accomplished," I said bitterly, swaying on my feet, trying to recover my balance and failing as I had to grab onto his arm for support.

"That's not what I was going for; though I'm glad to hear you're at least a bit guilty for your actions," he added dryly, drawing a weak ass laugh from me.

"Kakashi, I'm drunk," I admitted, forcing him to hold more of my weight as I leaned more against him. "I'm really, really drunk. I feel like shit, I think I'm going through a goddamn emotional break down here, AND I'm fucking starving." My stomach growled here only going on to prove how hungry I indeed was. But then the feeling in my stomach quickly morphed into something else. "God, I think I'm gonna hurl."

And hurl indeed I did. Right on Kakashi's brown shoes. In my defense though, his shoes were hideous, so I did him a service by ruining them. I don't think he saw it my way though, but whatever. You can't win them all.

My memories kind of get fuzzy after this. I must have drunk a lot more then I thought I had, because although I usually have a really high tolerance for alcohol, even I'm capable of getting outrageously wasted. He must have put his black jacket on me though, because I remember wearing it as he led me down the busy streets. Who knows whatever became of my newly acquired t-shirt. Hopefully it wasn't used as a rag to wipe off spilt beer with, because it really had been such a nice shirt. It hadn't deserved a fate such as that. I do remember for sure though that he bought me some ramen before walking me home and tucking me to bed. I'm not even going to question how he knew where I lived, since I never divulged that little piece of information to anyone. I think he even changed my outfit into some pajamas. I didn't mind though, but not just because I'm used to guys taking off my clothes or anything. It was because he was more of an "uncle" figure to me, and in my drunken deliriousness I knew I could trust him.

Lying on my bed in a deep, comatose sleep, I was unaware that Sasuke was soon going to bring my little, skanky life as I knew it crumbling down at my feet. But in his defense, I don't think he was aware of this fact either.

**A/N:** _Wow, this is like the longest chapter I've ever written in my fanfiction life. But that's not really saying something, since I haven't really written a lot. Remember; if you want me to update, you gotta review like crazy!!! I'm counting on your reviews to make my day!!!_


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